Words that come out of your mouth especially during an argument always follow the One-Way track, embedding into the other persons mind forever. And is that something to be cautious about? Yes! Absolutely yes!
In the process of absorbing a string of words, a lot happens.
- While one releases his/her anger and built up hatred in that moment, the other lashes out the same
- While one releases his/her anger and built up hatred in that moment, the other prefers to stay silent only to build his/her dislike towards the former. This eventually bursts some day and the cycle continues.
- While one releases his/her anger and built up hatred in that moment, the other takes the high road and forgives the former’s action
- While one releases his/her anger and built up hatred in that moment, a relationship gets destroyed forever as the other decides to cut all ties
When we think about consequences, the aftermath of what we have said and done, we only end up feeling remorse. It may or may not be instant but this feeling will definitely come your way. Instead of landing to this stage in the future, I have started practicing few things recently and accepting the neglected reality.
- I am a replacement. For example: I am a close friend today and may not be one tomorrow. And this is true as well. My 7+ years friendship went down the drain and someone new replaced me. The only person for whom I will never be a replacement is my mother
- Think before I speak. This idiom is so old and yet I haven’t mastered this wise saying. Nevertheless, I have started thinking a couple of times before opening my tiny mouth to anyone new after my friendship with this old friend went sour
- Relay your action and the other person’s reaction. When you start thinking a couple of times, you automatically will land to this point.
- Not all those who speak well of you actually mean well for you
- Not all those who smile with you are truly happy for you
- It’s not ok to put your100% in a friendship. Keep that 1% with you, for you
- Sometimes people will cling to you because they have no other outlet. Don’t mistake yourself as ‘important’ in their lives
- Its better not to have expectations than to see them break apart in pieces
From the perspective of one of the ‘latter’s’ mentioned, these pointers have been helping me to think in a much wiser way. Going forward, I might end up sustaining a better friendship with the lessons I have learnt. I became the ‘other’ who broke all ties with this friend and I strongly believe that I might become a better person who has forgiven the former.
Here’s a question. Why are proposals and the perfect Atmospheric setting an imperative for a successful relationship? Seriously like why? I had gone to meet a group of friends sometime back and one of them is due to marry next year. It was supposed to be a happy occasion with all of us cheering and wishing her, asking her if she needed any kind of help with the wedding arrangements and occasionally teasing her to the point where her cheeks turned red. Instead the topic for discussion was stalled at ‘how did he propose?’ and ‘where did he propose?’
Apparently, most of them have this notion that if a guy doesn’t bring the essentials (a ring, a bunch of red roses and may be a necklace) to sync with both great food and music in a romantic place, a relationship is set to be doomed. It doesn’t actually set the path of a long lasting love because the start wasn’t mystical. I wonder if movies are to be blamed for this idiotic thought or ‘us’ because we have simply become more materialistic. What I felt was, I mean, shouldn’t it be important that you are with someone you love, who wants to age with you and deal with everything about you? Shouldn’t it be enough that you know that you are cherished not by zillions but a single person, to whom you are the world? How does it matter what he gave or where he gave? The point is… he has given himself to you and is being honest with you.
Yes it’s nice to be gifted with something and I will not deny it. But that doesn’t have to be extravagant. At the same time, these actually don’t have a real role in making a bond strong. Looking at my friend it appeared that she was thrown under a bus. It felt that now she had to please those around her with her proposal story than being contempt with what truly occurred. As for a success of any relationship, I feel it takes two hands to clap. How each partner contributes to their growth as a couple in terms of love, respect, communication, togetherness (spending time with each other), responsibility, gratitude and support plays a vital role in strengthening them. It’s more realistic and robust, and will definitely take you till the end. I sounded like a spiritual guru (and might be now) and failed to make my point. The ‘have’s’ won over the actual ‘want’s’. Little do we all realise that in the long run, we eventually understand and wish we stuck to the ‘want’s’ of life.
A wise woman reinforced something I had forgotten sometime back – ‘Years of emotional involvement with a person can never be taken as a yes for speaking your heart and mind whenever or wherever you want to that person. It’s impossible to know someone completely. When a mother itself is unaware of all the things or feelings happening to or inside her child, then how do you expect to know everything about a friend? There will always be a curtain behind which stands a shadow of unknown and unsaid feelings. These are dangerous and only pile up over time. It ultimately takes you to a point where you longer want to associate yourself with the other person. So beware. Don’t take anyone for granted. Practice your mind and mouth to adopt a Gingerly approach when you deal with anyone in life no matter how close you are to that person’.
Who doesn’t love Dancing? Everyone isn’t? But did you know that birds also dance? When you compare a human’s dance with that of an animal or bird, I can bet that it’s the latter that will win more hearts. We rarely get to see them up close. And having to watch them demonstrate a behaviour or skill that ‘we’ often showcase always brings a huge smile on my face. If you don’t believe me, please watch this video that I watched years back and you will know what I mean. Enjoy!
PS: If MJ’s soul was wandering around or is watching them from above, am sure he would be amazed by this little wonder.
Writing is hard (as a matter of fact, a lot of things in life is hard) and that’s what I have learned over these few days. I looked at my posts today. They seemed monotonous in tone and lacked experimentation. I didn’t have anything interesting or exciting to narrate and that is what’s bothering me. Am I boring or has my life been boring all along? It cannot be the latter because I have had so many ups and downs in life just like a lot of us. May be I just need to tell my experience or a story in an appealing manner?
I haven’t actually been a fan of writing. Gosh there are so many things, which go into getting a ‘wow’ post or an article. For example, you need to consider the flow, the grammar, the takeaway… Phew, it’s a lot of effort. Once it’s out, you start biting your nails waiting for the comments wishing most, if not all, to be on a positive note. I have experienced this during my days as a trainer and I respect authors a lot now. I wonder how they do this? Do they have a secret potion, a Panacea that transforms their abundant thoughts into inspiring words? May yes, may be no. But you know what…no matter how hard something is, we must always give it a try and here I am. Just like my mom keeps telling, ‘make an attempt and don’t worry about the result. You will have a satisfaction at the end for trying something rather than wasting your life or time’.